Parenting....life's little challenge

[Photo]
Tonight was Hockey Boy's last game of his inaugural season as a Maine Endwell player. It has been a good run, and I am so proud of him. It gives me a moment to pause and consider how he has blessed my life, and I would not be the person I am, had it not been for the privilege of becoming his mom on that warm August day in 1992.


Most people that know me well, know that parenting was not in "my plans." I enjoyed kids, especially teen agers, but the thought of becoming a parent to my own children, was not even on my radar. Yes, I was thrilled to be marrying the man of my dreams, and we had fleetingly discussed the idea of children, but certainly had not made any real plans. But God saw things very differently. Only seven short months after we married, we learned we would be adding to our new family. Talk about a shock. We were unable to speak for nearly two weeks as we considered the changes that would quickly come to our family. We had barely had the time to meld together as a married couple, and now we were looking at having a baby. Only God could have orchestrated that, and only God could have brought us to this point in our lives, where we are now parents of three amazing and healthy children.

Parenting has not been something that came naturally to me. I'm pretty selfish by nature, and being an only child, well, the whole world pretty much centered around me. Then the fact that I came from a broken family, moved around between various relatives, and finally ended up living with my dad and his second wife made for a little lack of discipline and stability on my part. I feared from the very beginning that I would screw up any children I had, so I had no business becoming a parent. But there I was, married (thankfully) on the verge of having a baby.

Now, nearly 16 years later I still believe I have no business being a parent. However, again, God must have had different plans. I am so thrilled to be a mom, and if I had planned my own destiny, I would have missed out on this awesome and scary privilege. Thankfully that did not happen. I don't love all parts of parenting, and I sometimes wimp out when there are tough decisions, and I struggle to set limits. However, I am not alone in this endeavor. I have an amazing husband and helpmate, and a God that loves my children even more than I do. If I look to Him for direction, He will freely give it.

So as this parenting endeavor continues, I look forward to more hockey games, school events, gymnastics lessons, sleepovers, and concerts. To think I would have missed out on all of this makes me cringe, and I again thank God for His sovreignty and for the gift of my children.