Love what you do....?

I listened to part of a program by Chip Ingraham from Living on the Edge the other night. He was exploring the idea of our work, loving what we do, and such. As I heard part of it, I was putting together my AVON order and really only half listening. But now, as I reflect on the little bit that made it's way to my consciousness, I am wondering, do I truly love what I do? I said so in my profile, but tonight, I'm not so sure. After several days of dealing with a stressful situation on my case load, I realize that I am severly limited in my ability to really make a difference in the most traumatized of children with whom I work.

So, I am wondering, do I love what I do? Am I truly called to this "work" that I espouse to enjoy so much? Or is it just something that happened to me. I do believe that God has his plans for each of us, but tonight I am wondering if I got off course somehow. I really don't like many aspects of my job, and I am not necessarily a good communicator in stressful scenarios. I also won't take many risks either. Yet, I regularly ask families to take a "chance" and try to work with certain difficult children. I ask parents to be patient, when I sometimes lack patience.

On the other hand, when I recently took a test about my gifts, it showed that I had the gift of mercy. In some ways I do offer mercy to the situations I encounter, and I work hard to be encouraging and supportive. And I do listen, usually fairly well, and can help people see the good in very tough life circumstances.

One thing I did realize again on my way home from work, as I tried to "decompress" some of the stress that was hanging over me, was that I can't do any of this in my own power. It really all does come back to God, and His plan for the children with whom I work. The best thing that I can do for these vulnerable ones, is to ask that God would be in control of their situation, and work out the details in a seemingly impossible situation. I had to lay at our creator's feet the things that have eaten at me all day. I have to really trust that He will work "all things" together for His good....yes I know there is another part to that verse, about him doing this for those that love God. I realize that maybe not all of the kids and families with whom I work have an ongoing relationship with our Lord, but because I do, and I think of these little ones as "mine," I believe that God can and will still work out His purposes in their little lives, eventually.

Maybe that is really at the core of knowing if our job is ordained by God himself, that we can do whatever it is as "unto the Lord." In the end, I don't always know if I am doing my best, and yes, I get caught up in the details. However, I choose to trust Him that for today, I am in His plan and fulfilling His purposes through my work. So, with that said, maybe I don't always love my job, but I am reminded that I can always trust Him to be with me in my job, and can do my best, simply because it is pleasing to Him.