For years I have loved participating in an event called "Koinonia," a weekend retreat held in the Rochester area for nearly 30 years. It was how my Dear One and I met. Only God could have brought us together, and He did so in an amazing way.
Anyway, for this retreat, each weekend (three held each year) is put on by a "Team" of former "participants," for first time "participants." My first weekend was in May 1985, and I have had the privilege of serving on countless weekends since that time...probably around 20 or so in all. Most weekends I have been a musician and lead the music, but on other weekends I have been someone who is part of the prayer ministry, and have also given more than one talk on the weekend.
Though I have never felt worthy of any of my roles, I have always believed that if I were asked to be a "team" member, that God had His hand on it. Nothing is by chance, since I firmly believe that each weekend is bathed in prayer from the very beginning. Most weekends I have gone, I have realized at some point exactly why I was there, and what God wanted to show me or do in my life. So, now I am faced with a decision....one I am wrestling with and can't quite come to the place where I am entirely sure what God is trying to say to me.
I hope in the next day or so, I will make a decision that completely honors God...and leave the whole thing to Him. He will figure out the details, if I stop taking them back from Him. That is the human struggle, to lay our burdens at Him feet....and leave them there.
2 comments:
Peace and blessings with your decision...
I understand and support you...
Take care.
From a man's point of view, I'd say that it depends on what the person is doing to you. If he/she is crossing your physical or moral boundaries in an overt manner, then he/she has been put there to strengthen you. You will need to recapture your own personal power by confronting that person in an firm yet convincing manner.
If that person simply has general behavior that makes you uncomfortable, you can choose to stay and learn what it is about that person that stirs thing up so strongly in you and see if it might not be the result of something in your past that you still find frightening.
I believe, that either way, we win when we have the awareness or courage to face our fears, head on, when feeling "comfortable" is what we strive for but...don't necessarily need, at the time, in God's eyes.
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